The Birth of a Midwife

(Musings channeled while sleep deprived and still navigating the altered state of the birth portal)

What is tradition? Who’s traditions? And from what point in time? How do you define it? Is it cultural? Is it genealogical? Is it historical? The definition feels deeply personal, subjective and contextual. As someone who falls into the category of what some call a “Traditional Midwife”, I have struggled with what to call myself. Even the term midwife has been transmuted and redefined by today's technocratic dogmatic model of care. What I have experience here, in Ecuador, is that I am being reborn a midwife; no need to add adjectives or qualifiers. I am one who walks with women, I serve at their feet, I nurture them, I love them. To me that is Midwife and the “tradition” of each woman and of my own experiences define the nuances of how I show up in service for each woman individually.

I’ve gone back and forth many times about what to share in this blog this first week of being here. Sometimes questioning if it should be shared at all. This experience feels immensely sacred, so much so that words are not worthy of its story. But I have decided I must share, because this place and the women here have a story that deserves to be heard. Out of reverence for the magic of this place and for my own sacred right of passage there will be much that I will not share. Many things will remain between me and this land and these people. But I will do my best to share, discerningly, the things I feel most needed for the collective, my community, our birth culture and our women. Healing made available through story medicine and its divine expansive nature.

I must start by expressing my immense gratitude to Pachamama (Mother Nature and the land of Archidona), the Mamas of Amupakin, the Pipka Program (Margony & Carlota) and my fellow volunteers. Without them I could not live these experiences. I hope to honor them with these stories. I am deeply grateful.

In the work of women, every moment is ceremony. Intentional and methodical. Every shift at Amupakin is the same and yet somehow wildly different. We begin each workday with breakfast together at 8 am in the Cocina (community kitchen). It’s usually some variation of an egg and vegetables dish and there is most certainly Guayusa (a tea served hot or cold)  and Yuca present (at every meal). The food here is simple for the sole purpose of nourishment. I have found that simplicity to be not only exactly what my body needs but also immensely delicious. After breakfast we begin our work in the Chakra (garden) where we will spend the remainder of the morning harvesting the medicinal plants to be used to treat patients that day. There are no appointments, patients show up when they are in need and yet somehow the mamas know exactly what they will need for the day. The Chakra has over 200 indigenous plants some of which I know intimately (like garlic, ginger, lemongrass and nettle) and many of which are brand new to me. Each has a unique and vast healing profile - one plant we tried numbed the entire mouth when chewed and it is used as a natural numbing medicine. The Chakra is the center of life here. In order to use a plant in a healing you must first know the plant intimately. Usually this is done through an intense “dieta”, a diet of only that plant for many days until it makes itself know to you. Only then can you use it in healings. You must also consume all the medicines you serve (can you imagine if allopathic doctors had to do this 😅). What stands out here is the level of intention and attention paid to every step of the process and the personal care taken.

After the garden we break for lunch before beginning to see patients as the arrive. While this is a birth center, we see patients of all kind. General illness, dislocated elbows, cuts, scrapes and especially energetic ailments. The mamas perform many Limpia (traditional cleansing) a day for both locals and tourists alike. Occasionally, when not seeing patients, groups of tourist come to see the mamas and learn about ancestral indigenous healing practices. When there are no patients the mamas spend their time perfecting their craft; some mold clay into vessels and figures, some weave baskets with shredded palm branches, some cook, some make bags or jewelry. Their hands are never still and their attention always focused on whatever task serves the greatest good of the community at that moment.

In my first week here, I have had the honor of attending one birth so far. The birth of baby girl Yashira. On the morning of her arrival we woke early, at 2am, for a ceremony celebrating the full moon. Being that we are the inaugural cohort of volunteers of the Pipka program this ceremony was particularly special. It was the first time since the loss of Red Cross funding that all the Mamas were together again, a reunion of sorts. In the time since the departure of the Red Cross the center had been vailed in uncertainty around its future, at times facing complete closure all together. It is Pipka that found a path to sustainability for the center and the Mamas who live here. Providing not only a living wage to the Mamas but also the ability to provide birth services at no cost and on their own terms. The ceremony must begin early, before the monkeys wake making their arrival know with their unique sound. It is important to rise before any other creature as the first to rise inherits the power of the Sun for the day. We gathered in the Ambiwasi (Healing Space) and began the ceremony with the passing of the Guayusa. One mama sang as her assistant served the drink, all of us drinking from a shared vessel. The song has lyrics unique to the one drinking, often times playful and cheeky but the rhythm the same. The ceremony is also a dedicated time to air grievances and resolve conflicts within the group. After two rounds of Guayusa we switched to Masto (a drink made of fermented Yuca). The flavor of the second drink was intensely bitter and I have to admit I couldn’t stomach it. What I didn’t account for was the white residue that would be left under my seat in the spot where I sneakily poured my serving out. My secret exposed by the light of the sunrise. Around 4 am the tone of the ceremony shifted from jesting, singing and drinking. It was time for the initiation ceremony of the Mamacitas (the young women). This consisted of first delivering Tobacco juice into our eyes followed by the brushing of stinging Nettle branches onto our bare skin. The significance being a display of strength and will power. It was insanely painful and beautifully cleansing. I believe invitations like this that push our bodies and minds to its edges provide an opportunity for great expansion and is the way of the Midwife. It was abnormally cold this morning and your body couldn’t help but shiver, not sure if it was from the pain or the cold. We bonded as sisters and as women as the sun rose on us that day.

After the ceremony, I laid down for a brief nap before my 8 am shift. I was awoken prematurely to hear Carlotta calling  “come quick, there is a birth”. I then sat at the feet of the Mamas who sat at the feet of the birthing woman for the next 7 hours. This birth was deeply expansive for me in many ways that I am still integrating. I felt the vast love and care in every action of the Mamas. I also felt the presence of the colonialism and evangelism that has plagued this land. Baby Yashira entered this world through her mother, who was seated in the lap of her father. He held her in his arms, her face buried in his chest as she navigated the emergence of her baby. It was the most beautiful display of divine masculine supporting and protecting the sacred feminine I’ve ever seen.   Through each surge I felt myself traveling deeper into the alternate dimension on the fringes of consciousness. Before each contraction I instinctively closed my eyes and was presented with intense visuals. Visions of a large snake swallowing an egg, an old man walking slowly with a cane, a giant infinity expanding black bird, the Mother Mary glowing surrounded by a choir of angels. A song repeating in my head “come now little one you are safe here, come now little one we are waiting for you, come now little one you are loved, come now little one we will protect you”. All deeply moving to the point of tears at some points. I believe, as I midwife, I travel with the birthing woman to another dimension as she retrieves the soul of her child to bring earth side. I am here to protect her and serve at her feet as she makes this divine journey.

After the brith the Mamas ceremonially bathed the baby before tucking her into bed with her mama and papa. Mama was given a warm herbal compress for her womb and space to rest with her new little one. The Mamas and Apprentices together buried the placenta with a Yuca sapling. This ceremony represents the end of the birth and blesses the baby with the strength of the Yuca tree.

Welcome to this world baby Yashira. May your life be filled with love and abundance.

I’ll close with a poem inspired by the expereicne of my first week here.

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The Work of Woman

I carry water          I tend the Chakra     I process the plants    I weave baskets     I nourish with medicine  I listen to Earth                 

I carry wood           I tend the fire           I process the food       I weave shelter       I nourish with food          I listen to community

I carry myself     I tend myself        I process myself         I weave myself       I nourish myself            I listen to myself

I carry Woman     I tend Woman        I process Woman        I weave Woman   I nourish Woman             I listen to Woman